"You Can Always Come In My Backdoor"

It has certainly been a while everybody,
And so many fantastical things have happened.

Moonshine Madness was a blasty.
Of course right when I got to the theatre it started typhooning. So I sat in my car for about 25 minutes and watched the water rise up almost to the bottom of my car door.
Then I scrambled out of my car, with electricity rod in hand (umbrella), and took my very expensive shoes off.
I waded through shin deep water and finally made it into the theatre.
Needless to say, I was not a very happy camper.
AJ and I went over our sketch a couple of times.
He, throwing things in, to try and make me laugh.
I think it's a personal goal of him to try and make me break on stage during sketch comedy.
Not real shows. Then he is all business.
But if this is a one time thing just for laughs, he will do anything in his power to get me to crack.
And he is usually quite successful.
We all recall the days of him trying to touch my teeth on stage.
Son of a bitch.

Then, Michael gets to Le Chat from the airport.
Delayed from previously mentioned typhoon.
We go upstairs and he grabs his guitar and we just sit and pluck the song out.
We had never sang it together before, and we had only tried to learn it from the CD.
So, it was a little wonky, and we did it downstairs on stage twice.
One person was so kind as to let us know how terrible we sounded.
Thanks.
Awesome. Stellar.
Totally what I would like to hear right before I have to go sing with a person who makes his living SINGING!

Anyways, we tweaked the harmonies a little bit, made them more pleasing to the ear, and that was that.
AJ and I performed and got lots of laughs, and Michael and I sang our song which got tons of laughs as well.
The best part of the whole thing was that he totally forgot the last lyric of the song, which is the setup to my biggest joke.
I'm sitting there on the stool, and he just keeps vamping the guitar, and I look over, and he's like laughing going "I can't remember the words", so I happily stage whisper the lyric to him...making sure everyone knows exactly whats going on.
It made the payoff even better!

The rest of the evening was grand. We headed over to the bar across from Le Chat, which we called THE DIVE BAR all night long.
Sean Patterson drank a very large blue daiquiri, and sang a lot of Counting Crows and Cranberries to me. It was swell.
And then I almost got in a fist fight with a lady who continually made it known how much she hated Journey, and how anyone who would play Journey on a jukebox should be killed.
The evening was swell, and I thoroughly enjoyed my brief stint as costar to an actual star.
(No worries for those of you who missed it, Michael and I are planning a cabaret for the upcoming season! Something to do with bald guys and half jews.)

Went and saw Macbeth this past weekend with the Gores.
Whole bunch of standout people in that show.
Some interesting things going on.
Like the puppet children, which were horrifying, and I have no idea why they had to be included in this rendition of the play.
Drew Battles was a good Mac. A very solid performance.
His Lady M was way too nice for my taste.
I just think Lady M needs to be a raging, mother of a cunt.
And she was not.
Santos was great, as was AJ and James, and Emilie Whelan as her creeptastic cat witch.
And watching Mike Harkins tell a puppet to avenge his death was a pretty amazing thing.

On Saturday there were the City Wide Auditions held at Southern Rep.
This is the lovely little thing where a bunch of actors come in and do monologues and a song for a bunch of different theatre companies.
I went with Yeargain and Allegra as reps for the NOLA Project.
It wasn't nearly as exciting as we had hoped since the "Robot Guy" from last year has apparently gotten some training.
SO that was a little bit of a bummer.
But the day wasn't all for nothing.
There were a handful of really awesome people.
Like this little guy who did an awesome Glengarry monologue and then sang "Being Alive" really, really well.
He is an adorable, little, pocket-sized man. He should be in more plays.
And one guy did a monologue about Comic Sans....the font.
Hilarious. I want it.
And one woman did a monologue about gutting a rat and smearing the insides on a Christmas card for her boss.
Stellar.

Other than all that fun I haven't really been doing anything except rehearsing for Zombie Town!
Which opens Thursday at Le Chat.
Please please please come see it.
It is very funny.
And my boobs are on full display.
And there is blood.
And mockery of Texas.
What more could you want in a 80 minute show?
Runs through the 18th.
And on Saturday nights we play zombie movies on the projector after the show!

And go see Macbeth if you can, or go see some comedy with Bob Murrell. He is a member of Brown and they perform at the Zeitgeist.
He's hilarious, and adorable and a swell human.
And he is always very supportive of promoting all current theatre happenings.
And he will be appearing in Wedding Singer, which is opening at Le Petit next week!
Which is just gonna be 80s amazingness.

So yeah.
I got nothing else.
Except zombies, literally, on my brain.

"I don't even want a Tony anymore!"

This weekend wasn't really a break....
I had stuff to do the whole time, and all I really wanted to do was sleep.
But that just wasn't in the cards for me.
Saturday was rehearsal with AJ and then BBQ pool party for the Love's Labor's kiddies.
A whole bunch of them came over after the show and Wallace cooked meat for everyone who eats it.
I warned everyone before they came over that they had to be very quiet because it was like 11:30 at night, and I live with old people who like to complain, and there would be a strict no show tune singing policy in place. Sorry.
Everyone agreed on the terms specified and came over.
It turned into this ridiculous game of all of us whispering.
It was especially funny when we would start yelling, but in a whisper.
So, literally, we--ALL THEATRE PEOPLE--never spoke about a slight whisper for about an hour of outdoor quiet cooking and swimming.
I was very very proud of everyone.
Then this heinous cunt comes outside and sits next to the pool and starts chain smoking.
And she just keeps saying that we are going to get fined because she had a big party here two years ago and they got fined for having too many people and for being too loud. And she kept insisting she wasn't "trying to be an asshole"....but her tone implied otherwise.
So, she rudely starts asking, "Who lives here? Seriously, who is it?"
So I say, "I do. I'm the one who's lived here for 4 years."
"Oh well, I live here!"
"Ma'am I never said you didn't. You just asked who lived here, so I was letting you know."
"Well, you're gonna get fined. Like 200 dollars. But I guess if you stay quiet it'll be ok."
"Ok. That's fine."
And then she silently, and angrily smoked her cigarette and went back into her house.
Which is when we all start looking at each other and whispering ...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?
Honestly, no one else even opened their doors, except for this old man who wanted to discuss Mike Huckabee with Andrew Larimer for some reason. Odd. But not angry with us in the least. And that guy was like 80....chain smoking cunt is only in her 30s.
About 20 minutes after she had gone back inside she quickly opened her door again, looked out, leered at all of us, and then slammed the door.
To which Pete's response was, "Shhhhhhhhhh!"
And then he walked by her door and looked through the peephole.
This woman was so angry for no reason.
IT was very bizarre.
We decided we should head upstairs as to no longer be gawked at by crazy cunt.
Everyone left at around 1pm.
A successful Whisper/Meat Party, if I do say so myself.


Sunday started of bright an early with Frannie's Broadway Wedding Shower extravaganza.
I piled into a car with Cherie, Meredith, Lynne and Trina and we headed downtown to the swanky building that Reggie Bush lives in.
It's so hidden down on Poydras that, had I tried to go down there alone, I would have eventually just started crying and given up and gone home.
But we made it.
And the shower was super nice.
Yummy food, and show tune sing-a-longs.
And Frannie got lots of good stuff. And she looked so pretty in her all white ensemble.
And it was actually just really fun to get to watch Frannie enjoy herself, and have people throw her a party, because she is our unofficial group party planner.
She really deserves to have 20 showers...and I have no doubt this is just the first of many many more to come.

Later that evening....

I ended up at Sam's house to watch the awards that we all get very excited for year...
The Tonys!
Boy, was that a rather horrific display of the talent in the theatre world right now.
Not completely, I admit, I am very happy Viola Davis won...and just happy that anyone but Jude Law won in Best Actor category.

I missed the first hour of the awards because I was at Zombie rehearsal, which just gets more and more fun as the days go on.
The cast is very, very funny and I love me some Mr. Routhier.

So I get there and everyone is watching it, and they alert me to the fact that Scarlett Johansson won, and talked for like 20 minutes.
Boo.
I said, fine fine. I figured she was gonna win anyway....but if Catherine Zeta Jones wins...I'm punching the television.
The awards go on....performances happen, some legit people win some awards.
Then...we have to suffer through Catherine Zeta-Jones' rendition of "Send in the Clowns".
Which is a tough enough song to begin with.
Oh. MY. GOD!
It was wretched.
She looked maniacal. Kate Keun and I were just stunned and horrified.
We all booed tremendously when this horrible display was over.
To which Pete says, "You all booed Catherine Zeta Jones more than the BP oil spill commercial, you realize that, right?"
That's an old would, CZJ is a fresh cut.

So then the best actress in a musical category comes up.
This is when I reiterate, if Catherine Zeta Jones wins...I am punching the television.
I thought for sure the gal from Memphis was going to win.
She was favored and I thought her performance was fantastic.
Then they announce that CZJ won and we all yell in amazement and utter disappointment.
None of us could believe that, nor do I think, Catherine could believe it either.
And then she gives the most bizarre speech which ends with her saying, "I'm married to a big movie star who is sitting right there, and I get to sleep with him every night."
What the fuck?
The rest of the awards were uneventful and somewhat predictable.
Whatevs.
Not really impressed.

Tonight is Moonshine Madness at Le Chat.
AJ and I have a very funny scene ready to go, and me and Mr. Cerveris, will be singing a duet, which I'm going to go ahead and guarantee will be better than what CZJ did last night.

And if it isn't, you can take his Tony, and my Big Easy away.

"We should have glitter blood!!!"

Well hello there everyone.

How have we all been?
Swell, I hope.

Life has been kind of odd recently.
I don't really understand why, when people start dating people, they feel like they don't need certain people in their lives anymore.
When I date people, the ones I like, at least....I want to show off how awesome and funny and talented and great they are to all my friends.
I find some people are not like that....
And it's beginning to become sort of a bummer.
I am very happy that they have found someone to be happy with for the time being...but if that, god forbid, ends....you've alienated a friend that you've had for much longer than you've known this new girlfriend.
This all seems so very high school of everyone...
I'll stop talking about it now...because no one wants to hear about this...but I just think it's odd.
And slightly uncool.

Moving on.
I saw Love's Labor's Lost on their opening night.
The show was stellar.
Really, really enjoyed it.
The boys (Pete, Glaze, Yeargain and Andrew) were extra funny. The ladies were lovely as well, but the boys are just written to be funnier.
And I couldn't quite figure out what the girls, (Laura, Emilie, Claire and Jessica) were all wearing...they looked like the pastel version of Three Sisters.
But they all did an awesome job.
AJ looked like a mechanic, and was very funny as per usual...
Sam looked extra extra dapper with his gray hair....and he has such a good voice for Shakespeare....everything just sounds prettier when he says it in his baritone. Wonderful.
Mark McLaughlin was awesome. And he got shat upon by a bird.
So that was tremendous.
And Kate Kuen was beautiful, and wide eyed and looked super sassy with her newly red hair.
Harkins was also very funny eating his chicken leg and cookies onstage in that ridiculous Ranger costume and mustache.
I liked it all quite a bit.
If you haven't seen it...this is the final weekend.
Thursday through Sunday.
And if you go Saturday or Sunday you will see Glazebrook's understudy, Mr. Alex Wallace.
Should be a very different and stellar show!

So, last weekend the almost entire NOLA Project went and saw a movie called The Room.
It was playing at Prytania as one of the midnight movies.
Pete suggested we should have an outing for this.
I cannot even begin to describe to you this movie.
I just suggest netflixing it or watching clips on youtube.
It made me speechless.
It was like a Rocky Horror type experience.
People dressed up, and their are certain props that you throw at the screen and many many shout outs during the movie.
All those die-hard fans really made this movie bearable.
It is insane....and horrible and amazing.
THEY USE THE SAME SEX SCENE TWICE!
THEY FILMED IT.
PLAYED IT ONCE.
THEN THEY WENT TO HAVE SEX AGAIN.
AND IT WAS THE SAME EXACT SHOT FROM TWENTY MINUTES EARLIER.
INSANITY!
It was a lot of fun to say the least.



Started rehearsals for Zombie Town.
They are beyond ridiculous and fun.
I really enjoy being in a show with a bunch of people I've never worked with.
All new kinds of dynamics.
I don't want to give anything way, but the improv rehearsals we have been having are borderline crazy talk...and somehow totally helping us with the characters and the whole show.
It's going to be pretty spectacular.
I think a lot of people are going to like this show very very much.
As long as everyone gets the joke...


Moonshine Madness is this coming Monday at Le Chat.
I'm very excited to sing and do a scene.
Should be a rousing good time for everyone.
It's a little pricey....but the 45 dollars is all for good stuff.
So if you can come, Monday night...at Le Chat.
Sean Patterson will be there!
If that's not reason enough...I don't know what is.


And now I'm very tired.
My job has required me to come in an hour earlier for the past week and my little body can't handle that.
I don't think I am made to function before 10AM.
I am just unpleasant.
If you want to know what I mean you should ask Beau Bratcher.
He has seen me at 6AM trying to "help build a set", and instead I just took it upon myself to lie in the fetal position and utter, "I'm so unhappy right now I'm either going to cry or vomit."
Nice.
Or during the Much Ado student performance when I sat in a corner and refused to speak to everyone during warm ups.
And David Hoover mocked me the entire time.
I refuse to forgive him for that.
Somehow, when I had to do student performances of Speech & Debate I was somewhat ok.
Probably because I would drink 3 redbulls before each of those to ensure I could make it through the interpretive dancing at 9AM!
Boo.

Theatre should be done in the dark.
At night.
Like the good lord intended.